Note: I restarted my story because my paragraphs were far too long and I had far too much information to include in the story. This is all I have so far:
Darkness, being cut into by the street lights’ illumination. The bank was the main attraction of the town, it’s complicated design was not only pleasing to the eye, but it made everyone forget about the gloom and melancholiness that flowed through the town. New York was a sad place. Everyone knows that. “The City of Broken Dreams,” a lot of people call it. Police roamed the town, roadblocks everywhere. "So you say there's gonna be a robbery?" Investigator Lestrade asked his colleague. "I won't lie, it's certain. The evidence doesn't lie."
"Thank you, Miss Cain."
Valkyrie Cain was Lestrade's colleague. She kept Lestrade on the right track, and was able to be his second opinion, if he ever needed one. It was hours before the alarm blared through the town.
"Thank you, Miss Cain."
Valkyrie Cain was Lestrade's colleague. She kept Lestrade on the right track, and was able to be his second opinion, if he ever needed one. It was hours before the alarm blared through the town.
Hi, I liked your descriptive words and how you described the setting. Maybe you could make your second sentence a little shorter so people don't run out of breath. You could add what street the bank was on and New York isn't a town.
ReplyDeleteFrom Jordan